Eating for England

I really went for it! I showed Spain what a stomach on legs can really do. I made an enormous dent in the San Sebastian pintxo output. Sadly my trousers suffered the complete opposite - no dents but every space was filled to capacity. So much so, that on Tuesday back at work, my trouseres split and the fly started to fall out. Honestly! I was crimson with shame. However, I think it's more to do with poor needlework than massive overindulgence in this case, as they were brand new and the other pair I bought on the same day are holding out quite nicely.

Back to my trip to Northern Spain. The train was hilarious. It was kinda like camping but on the move. A group of fully grown men in one compartment might sound like the recipe for a wild old time but it was more like a scene from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" rather than "Some Like It Hot"! Six men attempting to step around each other in a small compartment of a rapidly moving train in stripey pyjamas. It was a good job we'd had plenty of wine before each journey, as we just fell about like rag dolls sustaining absolutely no injuries at all. It was a hoot tho.

The gay bar (note - no 's' at the end of the word bar) was fun too but, as per the official Spanish Nightlife Rulebook, no-one turned up until midnight. I was pie-eyed by then but still managed to roll into the hotel at about 5am each morning. The other half had performed his usual task and 'child-proofed' the room for me each night (bless) before my dramatic entrance and graceful swallow-dive onto the bed. My friend David and I seemed to be the naughty boys of the weekend (no change there) as everyone showed admirable restraint on the alcohol front, apart from us. I was still up red-eyed and scruffy-tailed each morning tho, to embark on yet more pintxo adventures.

Pintxos really are amazing. There are literally heaps of them on each and every bar and you just help yourself, telling the bar staff how many you've had when the time comes to move on. Of course I was hopeless at this, as David and I were shovelling fistfulls of the things into our permanently open maws. I'm putting in some photos of pintxos to give you a little local flavour.

Please note also the pic of me - dreadful it is too, but I said I'd do it in my last post. I wasn't too smashed when it was taken but all in of the others I have a somewhat vacant gaze... I'm on the left and naughty David is on the right.

Oh. And could someone pleeeeease explain to me how I get pics where I want them, rather than bunched up at the top of a post? Ta.

Pintxos

Huh?

Yes. Pintxos. It’s the Basque word for tapas. It’s something that I’m hopefully going to be VERY familiar with by the close of the weekend.
Tomorrow I’m off with some chums to San Sebastian in Northern Spain. A group of 6 gay men on a sleeper train through Europe to the sun. How pink is that going to be?

Here’s my weekend holiday checklist…

Tickets
Money
Passport
Hot water bottle – for storing gin onboard the train – a la “Some Like It Hot”
Splendid pyjamas – essential bunkwear for sleeper train chic
Sunglasses – extra dark - for secret, unobserved perving at super cute Spanish hotties
Cap – to prevent my newly shaved head from becoming toast
Glamourous eveningwear
Shorts – need to get my legs brown. Winter has taken it’s toll…my legs look like hairy church candles – although still marvellously shapely!
Cool and groovy daywear – no excuse for looking shoddy
Elasticated waist trousers – pintxos, tapas, pintxos, tapas, beer, beer, beer…
Camera – I’ll try and get evidence of Spanish hotties as mentioned above
A solid constitution – a whole weekend of Spanish booze will require serious focus
A list of San Sebastian gay bars – more of a pamphlet really. We should get around all of them by midnight on the first day. We’ll probably be on a continuous gay loop for the weekend
Easter eggs – rude not to

I really, really love Spain. It’s warm and sunny, people are generally attractive with fabulous skin and no-one goes out in the evening before 11pm. To do so would be social suicide. Everyone has dinner at the kind of time I would be having breakfast, were it a work day and even the cheapest of wine tastes great – in fact the more you drink, the better it gets as your taste buds get gradually killed off…

Adios!

Veg

I’m taking a little poetic licence here (I know, I know, I’ve always been crap at poetry) but the veg I’m referring to is basically me. And my behaviour over the weekend.
On Sunday I had a ‘stay in my pyjamas’ day. It was great.
I’m taking antibiotics at the moment (long story but a clean one!) which means I can’t drink alcohol this week. There have been some ill effects. My right arm has experienced a dull, throbbing pain and is getting weaker by the minute. The sooner I can start lifting a glass the better it’ll be for my long-term health.
However, the weekend was spent with Jaffa Cakes, bucket loads of tea, assorted cakes and a friend popped around with a box of macaroons which nearly induced full-blown hysteria as I was coasting on the edge of a huge sugar tsunami as it was.

Other news…

I think I really quite fancy Sting. I never used to at all but I saw him on TV recently and I felt a bit funny. Maybe it’s the ‘older bloke who’s stayed in shape’ thing. I dunno. Maybe I’d eaten something odd that afternoon. I’ll ponder it for a while and get back to you.

Over the weekend I also took the radical step of having my head shaved. Fortunately it was a voluntary decision, not lice induced! I hate it. The weird thing is, everyone else seems to approve. I’m not sure if people are just being polite but the comments have been v. positive and range from “it makes you look younger” (not sure how that works!), “it suits you” all the way to “ooh! It’s sexy!”. The weirdest thing is that now it’s done everyone wants to feel it! Why is that I wonder. It’s just fuzz. Maybe it’s why people like stroking pets. I’m not against being rubbed gently by people, especially if they’re pleasing to the eye. The strangest comment, and a few people have said it, is “it’s good – you have the right shaped head”. What’s that all about? I’ll keep the buzz cut for a bit and see what other effects it has. I may even get to like it myself.

I’ve just realised that I’ve never got around to posting a pic of myself on my blog. I may do if I decide I like being shorn…

Gasp!

I’ve just had a wee scan over my most recent blog entries and, though I hate to admit it, I need to face the harsh reality that they’re kinda dull.

Eek. Mammoth apologies to anyone who may stop by now and again, please don’t let the recent dip in standards affect your future enjoyment. Look out for new and improved content (that I will have copied from 2005) for your reading pleasure.
“Must try harder”. Funny, that’s not something that ever appeared on any of my school reports. Or in any post ‘sack-wrestling’ feedback…

What to discuss today then? Harking back to an earlier post about what to do with my life, I’ve been having a think about what to do and where to go. Usually these thoughts have been at the most inappropriate times and places and have been accompanied by a slack jaw, open mouth and vacant gaze, sometimes even dribble.

The ‘to do’ question has kinda been shelved as it’s too difficult, so my brain has swiftly glossed over any of these considerations and pounced joyously on the ‘where to’ issue. Travelling is a bit of a passion and it occurred to me that it’s some time since I donned a backpack and trooped off with vague thoughts of ‘finding’ myself spiritually and mentally, whilst lolling somewhere fronded by palms and lapped at gently by warm seas. Of course I never found anything but the best place to get riotously drunk with shady locals of dubious repute and the knowledge that if it’s still moving I probably shouldn’t eat it (usually whilst being encouraged to do so by aforementioned locals!)

…I’ve just been handed a sherbet lemon – wow! It’s been years!…

I enjoyed my 2 year backpacking adventure and then subsequent shorter sojourns and I do yearn for that kind of freedom again. Trouble is, they don’t pay the bills do they?!

Anyone know how I can do it for a living?

On my list of things to discover…

South America – any of it will do. Apart from the dangerous bits. Does that just leave Mexico? Would the Galapagos islands be ok?

New Zealand – wanna catch me a hobbit

The Northern Lights – not a destination as such, the Southern lights would do just as nicely

Japan – I LOVE Tokyo and I’d like to explore more of the country

Canada – apparently Calgary at Stampede time is choc-full of cowboys. Wanna throw on some chaps and get all Brokeback…

Scotland in a campervan – I’ve got a cardigan and a flask

Zanzibar – I like the word so it's bound to be good, right? It’s apparently beautiful

Italy, Spain, France – super close and super sunny (mostly). I’ve seen a fair bit but I’d like to stop and spend time, learn the language, eat cakes, drink beer, take up boules…

Other areas in brief – Asia, esp, SE Asia – Laos, Vietnam, Korea, revisit Thailand, Malaysia & Singapore. USA by large car with loud radio & trunk groaning with junkfood.

I’ll send you all a postcard. I wish…

Club Sandwich

Why are they so good? I’m munching through one right now and it’s great. I only ever seem to have them whilst on holiday (another unanswered question there too!) but I saw one today and decided it would fill a gap. I don’t feel like I’m on holiday but it’s a welcome change from the norm.

My shopping trip over the weekend was a bit of a change from the norm too. Things were going well, until a few purchases in… my card stopped functioning and, try as I might, I couldn’t get it to work in machines or anything. Bugger! Perplexed and a little frustrated I called my bank. They explained that due to the recent activity on the card they thought it had been stolen and put a stop on it! Admittedly, the ‘few’ purchases I’d made were quite pricey and in rapid succession – just two pairs of shoes and a new mobile phone. I was advised that the unblocking process would take 24 hours. Harrumph! That put an end to my spree. I could have used another card but I reckoned I could do it all over again next week instead.

It also meant that the other half had to pay for dinner as I cried poverty and misery due to my new status of alienation from the international banking system. Always a silver lining. Mind you, he would have paid anyway. He always does. Bless.

It’s strange that I bought shoes though. I really don’t enjoy buying them. Not sure why. It always feels such a chore. Maybe it’s because I didn’t actually need them that made them easier to buy…? Didn’t actually need the phone either, I just felt my current one needed updating. I’d really struggle if I were a woman. I don’t get the whole shoes and handbag thing. Don’t get me wrong, I like to buy good shoes (don’t see any sense skimping on something I’ll be standing around in all day/evening), but I’m not filled with the same joy, post-purchase as I am with other clothes. And as for bags! That’s something I simply don’t comprehend. I hate carrying anything. If it doesn’t fit in my pockets (or the other half can’t carry it) it stays at home. Perhaps I need my own lady-in-waiting to cart all of my knick-knacks about, just a respectable few paces behind obviously, as they do.

Right, back to my club sandwich. It’s good but it really isn’t the same without the sunshine, the proximity to a beach/mountain/lake/pool and French fries.

Spring has sprung

… but how long will it last? We’re having lovely sunny weather this week and everything is perky and bright, including me. However, we could be plunged back into gloom again as there is snow forecasted for the middle of next week. I can’t keep up. It’s coat on, coat off, coat on weather.

I had a chicken & bacon panini for lunch. It wasn’t what I wanted at first but I settled into demolishing it with gusto. It was rather good. The only issue I had was that it could have done with more filling at one end. Often the way with sandwiches. Often the way with life too, I think. One end needs a bit more filling, padding or improvement, whilst other parts are choc-full and bursting with goodies. Hmmm. My last post was a bit of a mooch about work which is plodding on the same, as mentioned previously, but other things in my life are tearing along at a cracking pace and I have the proverbial wind blowing thru my hair (also sadly more proverbial than it used to be…)

Talking of wind thru my hair… we got the registration number for our new car today. It’s to be delivered in a couple of weeks’ time. We shall have to start saying our goodbyes to our current vehicle. It’ll be sad. Beyonce (our car – there is an explanation) has done us great service for the last couple of years but it’s time for her to be passed to someone else so they can enjoy her many delights. Actually, now I’ve mentioned the car’s name I realise that our new machine will need a fitting label. It’s not as sexy as Beyonce, but more masculine, shiny and er… well... more German. Perhaps Klaus or Helmut…? I definitely need to give it more thought.

At last it’s Friday. I intend to dent my bank account tomorrow, as it’s been ages since I’ve run amok in the shops. I have hopes of taking the West End by storm and leaving many outlets totally empty of fabulous things. Should I draft a schedule to give structure to my mission? Should I just await inspiration and let instinct take over, allowing myself to be drawn to the designers that my inner being yearns for? I may need a cheeky aperitif to help me decide. I’ll probably have a spot of lunch first, before launching my onslaught. The excitement mounts…

Have a splendid weekend all.

Chocolate fingers, cheese on toast and comfort food

I’m feeling a bit flat lately. Not sure why. My normally perky disposition has been replaced with a ‘Groundhog Day’ kind of gloom. The other half is away for a week (in Cannes of all places!), my parents are a long way away and I’m feeling lonesome. I’m really rubbish on my own. Even TV is boring without someone to talk to about it.
I wish I had a dog. They’re such great comfort and always pleased to see you. It’s totally impractical for us to have one of course, but right now it would do just the trick. A fuzzy friend with an eager to please attitude would be perfect.

I’m having to turn to comfort food instead. I’ve reverted to my student days and I’m eating things I haven’t had in years – it’s fabulously retro . The other half wouldn’t dream of consuming the stuff I’m having right now so it’s a blessing he’s not here to see me devour it. I can’t even divulge the food crimes I’m committing as it’s too, too embarrassing. Some of it involves macaroni, tinned beans and packet cheese sauce but I’ll go no further as I want to keep some shreds of self-respect and dignity…

I think it’s my job that’s leading me to feel this way. As someone who recruits others for a living, you’d think I’d be able to sort myself out. Not so. The company I work for, to the outside world, is dynamic, fresh and exciting but after 10 years I’m over it now. I think it’s time I moved on…

What to? Obviously a food taster somewhere would be ideal. However, I’m getting on a bit (not too far on, you understand but on nonetheless!) so I really need to decide what it is that I want to be when I grow up. Sadly the grown up part is already here and I still haven’t made up my mind. Oh crap! Is this a mid-life crisis? When is mid-life? Where are all of the rules on this stuff kept? Are there some instructions somewhere? Wonder if there’s a website… I’ve got so much ‘life’ stuff sorted out lately that I think I’m on a roll and need to iron out all these wrinkles.

Maybe I should have a cup of tea and a digestive whilst I think it through. I’ll pat my imaginary, virtual dog (I’m calling him Colin) and mull it all over.

Answers on a comments post-card please to….

Alpen Yoghurt Bars with Apple & Blackberry

!

It's madness. I never thought I'd be typing anything like this. Alpen yoghurt bars with apple & blackberry are seriously good. What's more, they're really healthy too. Sadly, I seem to be missing the whole point from the health angle as I've eaten a box of six in two days. I think the idea is to have one a day for breakfast...

I'm having trouble blogging at the moment. I often do it at work during my lunchtime but the nazi internet police at the company where I work have prevented all internet use, apart from management approved sites. Basically, if it's not essential to your job, you can't access it. What a big fat pain. It's not as if I don't get my work done.

So. What have I been up to? Er...

Spent the weekend at our place in Brighton. It's been a while since we were there last and it was great to be by the sea again. Saturday was a be-yoooo-tiful day so it was briliant to be out and about. However, that's really all I can write about on the 'fresh air and clean living' aspects of a life by the sea.

The other half had a small business meeting on Saturday afternoon (captains of industry never switch off do they...?). Our friend David and I decided that a bit of shopping would hit the spot but we were derailed by a nearby bar and the lure of cocktails. At 3.30pm! It's scandalous, I know. But we threw caution to the wind, set up a tab and settled in for tall glasses of ice-pop flavoured goop, fruit salad garnish and a cheeky kick. Some time later the other half arrived to a smiley pair of booze addled wrecks and declared last orders. We trundled off home to have a disco nap before the evening's shenanigans. Half way home, David piped up "uh-oh....". As there was some ridiculous face pulling to accompany the 'uh-oh' I wondered what the heck he was on about. With good cause, David had halted in his tracks. We'd forgotten to pay the tab and had just walked out. Major faff! We called the bar and apologised hugely. The barman - attractive, rakish and, as with barmen almost everywhere, always temptingly just out of reach - was massively impressed and thanked us for being honest. WTF? We returned, now disappointingly sober to pay the bill.

It was starting to get a bit chilly and David began to get a bit grumbly about not having any holidays to look forward to. Suddenly he then lurched off to the left, dragging me in to a tanning salon. I wasn't as sober as I thought because six minutes later I was back on the street with a warm glow and a somewhat rosier complexion. I don't normally go in for a blast on a sunbed but I've got to admit, I did feel perkier and rather more dashing with a Saturday night tan!

We raced home, showered, changed and then nipped to a nearby bar for drinks with a friend before floating off on a vodka foamed wave to a great restaurant for dinner. If anyone is visiting Brighton and looking for recommendations, you MUST try Pintxo People. It's kinda cool, makes the most amazing Blueberry Daquiris (I know - I'm just bursting with testosterone in this post aren't I?) and has a really fun atmosphere. The food is amazing - it's the only chance the other half gets to speak as David and I spend a fair bit of time deep in serious concentration, shovelling food into our usually yacking pie-holes. Poor bloke. We had the best octopus I've ever tasted tho. Even the other half liked it and he avoids all foodstuffs with the texture of marigold gloves, perhaps understandably.

We ended up falling out of the restaurant and getting home at about 2am.

I was just pulling my shoes off and trying to decide whether I could be arsed making a cup of tea before bed or not, when the other half declared he wasn't ready for bed, that we were going back out and a taxi was on it's way. Bloody hell. Back on with my shoes and coat.

Some hours later, when the other half realised he wasn't made for extended drinking or dancing, he hauled David and I out of the club and into a taxi home.

Whilst leaning against the sink with an enormous glass of water before bed, I received a text message from my chums who now live in Sydney. I replied and they called me - they were still ripped to the gills from Mardi Gras the day before and just gearing up for a Sunday night's revelry. I've got to hand it to them. Those guys were rubbish when they lived in London and would be safely in bed by 1am. Sydney has honed them into hardened party boys. Must be all that sea air....

Right. My next post will be shorter, involve more cake and I promise to butch up. Honest.

So SO proud

Before I start on a huge rambling explanation of my recent exploits I’ll give you a rapid, Bridget Jones style round up of cakey goings on over the last few days.

Espresso Crème Brule – so amazing – dessert with a buzz!
Cauliflower cheese pie from EAT containing (of all things) boiled egg – cheeky surprise and I can’t deny it I’m hooked!
Afternoon tea selection of cream cakes.
A vast array of assorted biccies – M&S chocolate cornflake cakes, Jaffa cakes, Digestives, fig rolls – ooh – too many to mention.
Argentinean style cheesecake – who knew!?!

Why I’m not just a lard-filled barrel on legs I don’t know but whilst I can get away with it, I’m packing it all in!

Now. To other business, normal sponge/pastry related issues will return as soon as possible but other stuff has been occurring that needs mentioning.

My parents came to stay over the weekend. It’s the first time that I’ve seen them since the momentous revealing of my being a big ol’ gay. It was also the first time for them to meet the other half.
I wasn’t especially nervous or anxious about it all, as I’d spoken to Mum and Dad on the phone a fair bit since telling them. I was unsure how things would work out tho and I’d kind of resigned myself to just accepting whatever happened next. I’d told them the truth and felt a whole lot better about having done so and I just thought that whatever their reaction was, I’d deal with it.
I can honestly say that I think my parents are quite possibly the coolest, kindest people on the planet – in my view at least. They met the other half more or less straight away (we live together so kind of difficult to avoid that really) and were so calm and together about it. Inside they may have been in total chaos but they never even let a hint of that show.
Over the weekend some barriers were gently lowered and my Mum even said to the other half over dinner (with a lot of wine) “welcome to the family”. An easy throwaway comment in many circumstances but for me, such a huge thing to say and delivered so casually and genuinely. Mum and Dad may still feel a little uncomfortable about things but they never voiced it. I think it’ll still be some time before the issue becomes invisible to them and they don’t give it a second thought but, for now, it feels like we’re well on the way. I realise I’m so, so lucky to have my Mum and Dad.

We went for some fab dinners over the weekend and the parents loved The Lion King, which has changed a little since I saw it a couple of years ago. It’s still great fun tho and must be mind-blowing for kids.

I need a long lie down now after the weekend. I feel suddenly a LOT older and seriously weary – Lord only knows how poor Mum and Dad must be feeling.

p.s. has anyone seen the pics of Harry Potter loooking all grown up and buff?! I feel a bit pervy but OMG!!!!!

Birthday Blog! Excess Cake!!

It was my birthday yesterday. Of course, wishes of many happy returns will still be gratefully received.

I'm usually a jolly, perky sort and haven't really been upset by milestone birthdays so far, but it's occurred to me that I'm now only 12 years away from being 50! Don't know how I came to this realisation but it's stumped me a bit. I hope some fabulous 50 year olds can reassure me that I have much to look forward to! Ladies seem to be able to do it with much more grace tho - lots of older ladies manage to carry it off with such style.

It was also Shrove Tuesday here yesterday. As I'd already been out to a swanky do on Monday, I didn't really feel like going out last night so we had some chums around and did the pancake thing, which was a hoot. I love pancakes but they don't half fill you up don't they?!

We really went for it on the fillings front and after some concentrated efforts at trying almost everything, I had to surrender before my trousers gave out and guests were injured.

The other half then sprung out a cake with musical candles - hilarious - and decorated with marzipan dogs! I'm a bit of a marzipan fan so it was a winner of a cake, obviously had to sample a slice and have a nibble on one of the dogs with a cup of tea before bedtime!

On Monday the other half and I went out to a Gala Dinner at The Dorchester for the English National Ballet, thanks to our friend Craig. It was great. Lots of good food and wine. Lots of seriously glamourous people and an awful lot of impressive cleavage about. I discussed the decolletage issue with the lady sitting next to me (she had a particularly fetching plunge in her outfit and it pays to advertise). She explained that hers were real. Bizarre. I drew the line when invited to actually 'have a feel' but assured her they looked the genuine article. She was a lady of a certain age and a good example of my earlier comment about being 50, or thereabouts, and pulling it off with great aplomb. After such a conversation I became suddenly aware that a knock-out dress really can be improved when it's got a great chest squeezed into it with some spectacular jewellery to dangle provocatively...

Rick Astley (80's singer from the same musical origins as Kylie Minogue) sang at the event and he was really good. No, really!! He should return to recording. He sang a whole set of swing music and knocked spots off the likes of Robbie Williams' lame attempt at a similar thing. I was impressed. Yay for Rick!!

There was also ballet, which I'm still new to but enjoyed immensely, much to my surprise.

Yesterday, on arrival at work I discovered my colleagues had decorated my desk with banners and stars. I'm not a blusher but I got a bit flustered and flappy with all of the attention. They gave me presents too which is so brilliant! I don't normally work on my birthday - I take a day off or travel somewhere lovely but yesterday was a nice day.

Lil’ Star

A bit of a move away from my usual themes of cake/food but I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song! It’s strange as I’m not a fan of Kelis really, but this is so different to the stuff she normally does.

Usually I hate it when a song gets stuck in my head and goes around and around, but this one I’m more than happy to have playing on a loop at the back of mind. For the time being at least.

Thinking of such things… Here is my top-ten list of songs that stick in your mind and drive you mad. Be warned, read this list at your peril – you may have the continual torture of irritating noise in your head all day. My colleagues and I compete to see who can find the worst and fastest acting of these earworms.

1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
I know, I know. You’re probably thinking it’s a harmless, charming little ditty but take my word for it – it’s powerful stuff.

2. I Love Your Smile by Shanice
Again, sounds inoffensive enough, but give a few runs through in your head and see what happens.

3. In the Middle of the Night by Billy Joel
Danger danger danger!!

4. Ride on Time by Black Box
“Gotta gettup, gotta gettup, gotta gettup…… waaaaahaaa….”

5. Downtown by Petula Clarke
It’s where all the lights are bright – apparently

6. Shiela’s Wheels TV ad tune
Oh! The horror!

7. Saturday Night by Whigfield
It’s so darned rubbish!

8. Rehab by Amy Winehouse
This is such a cool song but played so much on the radio that now it’s been hardwired into my brain.

9. Baby Elephant Walk by Henry Mancini
If you don’t recognise the title you’ll definitely have heard the music – it’s a real killer of an earworm.

10. Two Times by Ann Lee
Total Aaaaarrggghhhh!! Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo....

Right. Got that off my chest. Anyone know of any cures for earworms? That way I’ll be able to endure my colleagues’ best (or should I say worst) efforts and triumph, smiling serenely.

I think I need a quick lie down. I’m a bit scared to read through this before posting, as I may be tempted (subconsciously, of course) to sing, hum or tap out some of the hideous punishments above….

M & S Wraps

Had one for lunch – delish – all I had time for.

I’m so busy at the mo that blogging has been a little down my list of things to do. I’m making an effort so I hope you all appreciate how virtuous I am. Gratitude in the form of cash will, of course, be accepted by the truckload.

So…. What’s new? Weeeellll. Not much really. After last week’s turbulent and exciting events, this week has seen a serene calm descend. The parents are behaving as if the conversation had never happened, or as if it has been something that they’ve known and accepted years ago. Time will tell but they’ve been brilliant in their own way and I’m privately enormously proud that they are handling things so well – outwardly at least.

Our friend left for her life in Namibia on Sunday – she’s lived there before – much earlier than when Brad & Angelina decided to show up to experience the ‘real Africa’. Hilariously enough though they stayed in a German tourist resort that looks like a small part of Bavaria has been uprooted and planted at the edge of the desert – African life is nowhere to be seen…. for miles!

We’ll all miss her (again) but if she stays for a long time I’ll be v happy to visit, as Namibia is a fantastic place. The wildlife there is spectacular and the game parks are so much emptier of people than Kruger or other, more well documented reserves. Go now before the world discovers it and it all gets turned into leopard-spotted Disney. The pic is my close encounter with an elephant at Etosha game reserve – I now know that the colour of fear is brown….

Also been attempting to get some holiday plans organised. So far we’ve decided on Provence in July and a cheeky weekender to Rome in May, as we love Rome so much. Rude not to really…

Ciao!

Big weekend

Well well well….

It’s been a monster of a weekend. From a splendid evening at the theatre to far too much wine, I seem to have packed a lot in - and some.

Phew! I’m not entirely sure where to start with this blog entry. Part of my weekend activities weren’t enjoyable in the least and caused considerable stress. More of that later,

Saturday we went to see Little Shop of Horrors at a small dinner theatre venue. It was FANTASTIC! The production is moving to the West End in March but is sold out until then. If anyone has the chance to catch it then I strongly suggest you do. As there was dinner involved, that meant there was wine accompanying it (naturally!). We were able to drink whilst watching the show and then went for a drink afterwards. Sounds splendid doesn’t it? And it was. So splendid, we decided to continue and all trooped off to a gay club. More booze. I foolishly couldn’t decide what to drink and so panic ordered beer. Nice combo so far - wine then beer. I then realised that I really didn’t want beer so swapped to vodka. Anyone getting the picture yet?

During our now drunken escapades we met a man with some kind of glitter in a jar. We were covered in it and at some point I even got my chest daubed in it – haven’t got a clue how that happened as I don’t recall removing my shirt at any point.

Sunday morning dawned and a corker of a hangover bloomed. After a couple of nurofens, I felt able to take on the world and descended to breakfast, still sparkling like crazy.

Now comes the hard bit…. My parents and I usually chat on a Sunday. This Sunday was different. The conversation went as per usual until completely derailed by my telling them I’m gay. Bless them. My mum said “sorry love, I didn’t hear that last bit”. So had to say it again!
Stunned silence and telephonic static.
Dad’s shocked response was “I’m not happy about that”, Mum’s was “are you happy?”
It was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had. I’m a confident person and comfortable with my sexuality but this experience shook me a lot I’ll admit. It’ll take a while for my parents to adjust and I hope they’ll feel better about it as time goes on. They’re still speaking to me, so that’s a good start. I think I’ve been luckier than a lot of people so I’m grateful and thankful for that.
The hilarious irony of this whole situation was I was sat there talking to my parents on the phone about being gay, attempting to portray an image of settled, grown-up, responsible gay life. However, my appearance suggested the total opposite, as I sat covered in last night’s glitter, reeking of booze and looking like roadkill in pyjamas.

Next step is for the other half to “Meet the Parents”. That’s gonna be a real bust!

Cold Hands!

... Warm heart. Or so they say. I’d ask them what it all means but I don’t know who ‘they’ are.
Anyway. My hands are soooo cold today. I’m usually a warm person and rarely feel the cold if I’m indoors. I just can’t seem to get warm tho. It’s impractical to type wearing gloves of course, well near impossible actually. I may have to resort to ‘old-lady-knitted-blanket-on-lap’ arrangements…

It’s strange. For the past few weeks there’s been the usual wittering from weather channels etc about how unseasonably warm it’s been, daffodils sprouting, slumps in sales of winter coats etc. Yet suddenly, this week nature has decided to report back in for duty and switched off the heating. Bugger.
I suppose it’s a good sign as it means global warming is being held off just a little bit longer.
I watched a TV programme the other day about global warming and how Britain will be affected – it’s a bit scary really. Even if the UK puts all it’s efforts into changing, we’re still at the mercy of other nations who are still showing absolutely no signs of giving a stuff about the rest of us. You know who you are! If you were a person, you would have been well and truly spanked by the rest of the world by now for being a brat.
The UK, however, is far from being perfect so we all have a lot of work to do in order to keep the planet alive. I must get some environmentally friendly lightbulbs on my way home and then plan my eco-friendly 'next steps'!

Sermon over. I think a nice cup of Lady Grey tea is in order with a chocolate digestive. At least I could put my hands around my cup to warm up. I’ve become strangely addicted to Lady Grey tea lately. I must be turning into an old dear myself. It’ll be cake on doilies next and sandwiches with no crusts. Eek. I hope not. I LOVE bread, especially the crusts. When I was young there was almost a full-on wrestling tournament to get the thick ends of every loaf. Not just with my brother but also my mum. Mum was always up early so she usually triumphed, unless she did the ‘mum’ thing and allowed us to get there first.

Mmmm… a nice bit of hot buttered toast would be fabulous right about now…

A little bit of culture

Not necessarily food (or cake) related, but the other half and I decided to make the most of living in London in 2007. We’ve both lived here for ages but we don’t always take advantage of what it has to offer. London is choc full of cool stuff to do and see, but often when you live in a place you forget about all of that as you walk past it daily, on your way to and from work. I often speed by Big Ben or Buckingham Palace without stopping to think where I am. I’ve even actually looked at my watch when I’m stood next to Big Ben – how dim is that!

This year though, we’ve decided that we’re going to experience London more, like we did when we first came to live here. We, and our friends are always keen to try out the new, coolest bar or restaurant in town (how very Sex and the City!) so we’re just really adding on to that plan.

Already we’ve been to the ballet (unbelievable! I’m hooked – if anyone has the chance to see The English National Ballet’s performances of Giselle then I urge you to go!!!), we’re going to see a small production of Little Shop of Horrors next week at a groovy little theatre called The Mernier Chocolate Factory (it includes dinner too – lord knows how that’s gonna fit in with the bloodthirsty theme of the show – I’ll make sure I avoid the beef), have The Sound of Music (what a hoot, must practice my lines…) booked for April, Avenue Q for May, it’s all so... theatrical.

In a previous blog entry I was mournfully nagging on about how I didn’t have any holidays booked – I may not have time to fit any in if I keep on at this rate!

Currently polishing off a delicious mocha. I’m not sure how that fits in with a healthier lifestyle though. I’ll make up for it later by having less tonic in my gin.

Update.... I've just had a small mountain (let's call it a hillock) of Marks & Spencer Fizzy Fish. The sugar rush is incredible. I think I should feel guilty about scoffing unhealthy, waistband expanding goodies but the unparalleled carbs high is sweeping away any such feelings on a fruit flavoured wave of giddiness and euphoria. Wow! I love sugar....

Pie

Let’s talk pies. I like them.

‘nuff said. Then again. I don’t think I have said enough. Y’see, I’m kinda weird. I like my pies cold. Is that too unpleasant for the discerning pastry connoisseurs amongst you to even consider? It makes my friends heave. They all like their pies toasty warm and straight from the oven/microwave/appropriate heating device. I on the other hand, prefer them to be cold so that all the insides have set a bit. Actually, now that I read that last line it sounds totally repellent. Perhaps we should stop talking about pies….

OK. Let’s move on to other stuff. Half way through January and I’m still happily coasting along with my new trying-to-eat-healthily-and-do-more-exercise plan. I’m experiencing a slight loosening of the trouser and I’ve now managed to clear all of the dreadful junk food out of my house (by eating most of it all at once – job done!)
I’m also feeling a sense of inner-smugness that I’m managing to continue with my project. I have to say though, that this feeling only comes over me when I have just finished exercising - before the aches & pains set in. Pre-exercise, I only feel dread and terror. I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy it. I’m slightly in awe of those people who spring around, confidently clad in lycra and without any irony or embarrassment. Just the idea of pulling on any kind of stretchy outfit sends me to the kitchen in search of something chewably cakey. I must add that I’m not some kind of man-mountain addicted to baked goods and pastry. I do have to make sure that I don’t go completely off the rails though and I’m always teetering at the edge of the overindulgence abyss!

Heavens! Work awaits and my inbox is now overflowing uncontrollably.

Blog soon…

January Blues…

If I were more musical – actually, that implies that I’m slightly musical, sadly I’m not even minimally gifted – I’d put together some mournful, jazzy number filled with lonely sax solos to fully express how gloomy I’m finding it all at the moment. Normally at this time of year I’d have lots of stuff planned and holidays booked that I can look forward to. This year there has been some enormous cosmic (or maybe, possibly mine...) oversight and I find myself starting a new year literally empty of everything apart from work!! How bleak.

Any suggestions or ideas would come in very handy. The other half and I are thinking a week in Provence might be nice. France is on our doorstep, so we often overlook it for holiday purposes but we’ve decided to investigate further. A bit of sunshine and a chance to brush up on my dreadful French would be quite fun. Add to that cheap wine and basketfuls of baguettes et fromage and you’ve got yourself a cheeky holiday surprise! Well, that’s the plan anyway.

I’d like something long haul at some point this year too. Not sure what that’s going to be but following the wine theme above, the other half has expressed an interest in the Napa Valley. It’s been ages since I’ve visited California and a trip to San Francisco is now well overdue. The other half has never been to San Francisco so it’d be great to pay the city a visit. A walk across the Golden Gate bridge to blow the cobwebs away and a walk into the Castro to blow... scratch that thought.

Whilst chatting on about wine… I bought the other half a lease of some vines at a Kent vineyard for 3 years as a Christmas present. The reception to this gift was much better than I expected so I’m really pleased. I wasn’t sure if it would make a good gift or not. Apparently it does. I’ve been reliably informed – any of you reading this who are better in the know, please feel free to drop a line and correct – that the Kent vineyards have similar soil to that of the Champagne region and thanks to global warming, the wine there is improving by the year. I may have to encourage the other half to build on the wine lease idea, go crazy, buy land and start planting like mad! Wow! That’d be just like Falcon Crest…. It’d have to be called something different tho as the UK wouldn’t be able to support anything with such a name. We’d have to call it Pigeon Hill or Crow End.
Ooh! The glamour...

Tuna Sandwich

It’s weird, and I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but I’m so relieved to be eating a tuna sandwich today. After a punishing few weeks of festive food binge, I’m so, so pleased to be eating normal stuff again. At last my trousers will begin to loosen and there will be no major sucking in before fastening.

Christmas and New Year were great – Christmas with my family was brilliant and I got to spend time with my niece and nephew who are far too full of energy. Then New Year at some friends’ cottage in the Kent countryside was very grown up and relaxing, plus I got to eat major amounts of fabulous food.

I’m still full. The queasiness is only just beginning to diminish. Obviously, like 80% of the rest of the western world, I’m now embarking on a healthy eating programme and intend to throw myself enthusiastically into exercise. The reality of my last statement will be that I shall consider scoffing one piece of cake and one chocolate bar/biscuit as ‘cutting down’ and my exercise regime will consist of spending a lot of time deciding what form of strenuous activity to take up and then become stranded on the sofa feeling guilty about not doing any of it!

Still, the above process will be consistent with previous years so it’s comforting to know that I’ve been here before and coped adequately.

I’m considering not drinking any alcohol in January but that is still under review as I’ve got a few events coming up that may require a cheeky snifter or two…

Christmas Crackers

I’m not really a fan of crackers (with or without cheese). The kind you pull are fun but the kind you eat leave me a bit uninspired.

Well, last day at work before the Christmas season grinds into full swing. Still more Christmas tunes belting out from the desk opposite mine. I must say that Phil Spector’s Christmas is now wearing thin and the fact that “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” is no longer filling me with delight and, much tho I’d like to “Feed the World” to “Let them know it’s Christmas time again…” I’m afraid these songs are really grating on my now jangled nerves - as is the truly dreadful singing of my colleague opposite. The fun and shine of my festive baubles are really tarnishing rapidly.

Otherwise I’m quite perky about the whole thing and can’t wait to skip free from my work shackles and skip merrily to my family and friends to begin celebrating proper.

This evening I’m catching a train to northern England to spend the ‘season to be jolly’ with my family. I hope it snows a bit. Last time I went home I spent all of Boxing Day (26th December) on a sledge with my brother, niece and nephew, hurtling down hills on a bleak and snowy moorland. It was brilliant!

I have been preparing my body for a week or so of major heart-stopping, artery clogging food bingeing. I think I’m just about there but may have to do some last minute stomach stretching exercises on the train – I have 3 hours worth of journey to increase my eating capacity…
I’ve also done a little to spread some joy elsewhere. I donated some cash to a charity to buy equipment for building wells and buying crops to allow people to grow their own food and become self-sufficient) and to a childrens’ charity in the UK. I feel a little happier that I’ve tried in a really, really small way to make someone’s life a little better.

Merry Christmas to anyone who may be dropping in to my blog. Happy New Year to everyone.

Nuts!

Aren’t nuts weird?! I don’t really consider them to be actually food at all. They just seem to be things that are added to other stuff.
When I was young I hated nuts and would avoid at all costs but, as with many other things, I’ve started to appreciate them as I’ve got older. I am munching on cashews right now and they’re going down tremendously well! I’m also deeply passionate about macadamia nuts and chocolate covered Brazil nuts. Hazelnuts are also worthy of a mention.

Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas time and everyone goes nuts for nuts at this time of year. I can’t be faffed shelling the things tho.
I even cooked with nuts over the weekend. I created a fabulous (even if I do say so myself) Moroccan chicken tagine. It had a ton of fruit and a rattling stack of almonds in it. At first, the ingredients looked more like a dessert than anything else. I was tempted to just put the kettle on, have soup and eat the tagine ingredients with ice cream instead. Common sense prevailed however and 1 hour later a spectacular culinary triumph was born. I’ve had Nigella on the phone for days since, begging for some advice but I’m letting the answer-phone pick up.

The Christmas countdown is now on. I’ve got most of my presents, just 2 more to buy on Thursday. Then I have only the wrapping to go but I quite enjoy that as it makes me feel quite festive.

The weather has turned quite chilly here – finally. It’s been so strange lately, not too cold at all. There are still some trees with leaves on – it’s December for goodness sake! I’m quite pleased the weather has taken a colder turn. It feels more like winter time at last and that Christmas and a new year are on their way.

Note to self…. Must buy a winter coat. And more nuts. Ooh. Maybe mince pies….

Ding Dong Merrily

Now that the festive season is approaching at terrifying speed, I’m pleased to report that my first yuletide Eggnog Latte from Starbucks has been consumed. Despite the reputation of said coffee outlet, I do enjoy their Christmas offerings. When accompanied by a couple (or more) of their mini mince pies an eggnog latte is just the thing for…. for…. well… for anything really!

Today I also threw myself into the seasonal spirit by having a Christmas sandwich. Now ‘Christmas sandwich’ could include a whole host of nasties really, couldn’t it? But fortunately this one was devoid of sprouts, crackers, hairy aunties or ‘eat me’ dates. It was a yummy cranberry bread sandwich with turkey, bacon, stuffing (my fave!), cranberry chutney and various greenery.

Other festive seasonal firsts of late…

The CD player has come out in the office and I’m peppered with the ‘rootie-toot-toots’ and ‘rumtie-tum-tums’ of jolly ditties all day long. It’s only day 3 of the music so I’m still upbeat about it all. Come next Monday I’ll be ready to use festive CD’s as coasters… and don’t even mention Slade…..

The social hurly burly of Christmas has also begun to gear up and we’ve had a few people over for dinner over the last few days as we probably won’t get to see them again until 2007. Party invites and Christmas drinkies with chums are filling up weekdays and weekends are booked solid. Fortunately I seem to have plenty of annual leave left over this year that needs to be used before Dec 31st so I’m only working 3 day weeks until January. Woo-hoo!

I’m now looking forward to my first Christmas buffet of 2006. Always a fan of a buffet, I wait in eager anticipation to see what’s on this year’s party food top ten. Please don’t let there be too much fish or cheese. I’m ok with the odd prawn but I’m more of a lover of lard and stodge than prancey health food on a doily. Give me indigestion inducing pastry, love-handle producing cake and artery hardening dairy products. All washed down with booze. I know. It’s not big and it’s not clever. But it is Christmas, and that’s the season (but not just the reason) to be jolly.

Cupcakes

I’m having a bit of a thing for cupcakes at the moment. I’m even considering making my own. Lord only knows what has brought this on.

New York was super. The weather was fantastic. Clear blue skies all day and not too cold at all. The sales were in full swing by the time we awoke on our first day so; of course, we went for a huge brunch before braving the stores.

Armani Exchange has a buff DJ playing seriously cool tunes so at one point I was right in the mood to sink a few vodka & tonics and have a bit of a dance, but realised it was early afternoon and I was in the queue for the changing rooms. Still, my purchases were many and splendid. Abercrombie & Fitch do the loud music thing too but their music wasn’t as good, the store is quite dark and the people who work there are busier admiring how good they look in the A&F clothes that are always sold out, than they are in helping anyone in-store. I had a laborious (and fruitless) conversation with a vapid, glacial minion who spoke “like, er, kinda dumb?!” I wasn’t entirely sure we were communicating in the same language and the look she gave me for being obviously and comfortably over the age of 17 said it all. She did, however, have time and energy to wave me vaguely in the direction of the back of the store to point out that I may find what I was looking for elsewhere (anywhere but near her). I fought my way thru the pack of gawking groupies waiting to have their photo taken with a muscle-bound hunk wearing only jeans and an open coat - poor bloke must have been pretty chilly! Then again the air around the frosty madam in men swear wasn’t that toasty either.

One ray of sunshine in the A&F store was that a friendly and seemingly ever perky lady told me I wouldn’t need to buy a medium T shirt as it would be “way too big” and “what was I thinking?!” I nearly hugged her.

We had dinner with our New York friends on a couple of nights, once in Harlem, a new experience for me, and another night uptown. The other evenings in New York were spent out on the razz sampling restaurants and bars. It was a hoot. I was interviewed for a gay TV channel by a drag queen that liked my aftershave, and spookily to continue the drag theme, I had Sunday brunch at a drag show restaurant in Greenwich. It was very entertaining. I’m amazed how some men can squeeze into a glittering garment without firing sequins off with every tightly clad movement.
The other half is absolutely terrified of drag queens, much in the same way that some people find clowns a bit sinister but was way, way, WAY too hung over to leave the hotel anyway. I, on the hand have no such problems, so having a fake bosom in my face whilst having my drink poured didn’t upset me at all. It caused much hilarity and photo snapping from my NYC chums tho.

P.S. The picture is most definitely NOT me!

It’s up to you….

New York, Nooooooooo Yoooooorrrrkk!

I depart on Thursday for a weekend of pre-festive shopping and extreme indulgence. I can’t wait.

Hong Kong was, as always, kinda cool. Also, as always, I left Hong Kong with a little parting gift – a cold. I don’t know why but I always get a cold in Hong Kong. I thought it could be the air conditioning but I never get it anywhere else I travel to. Still, no matter as I have just been to visit the smoothie man at Gatwick who made me a ‘flu fighter’ smoothie, packed with lots of vitamins and bug busting goodies.
It was quite tastey too, until I’d finished and then had a bit of a funny aftertaste, but hey, medicine always tastes bad in some way doesn’t it…

I made sure I sampled some Hong King cuisine and dined on great food during my 2 night stay. It wasn’t even a whistle-stop visit this time – I didn’t even have the opportunity to get my whistle out and blow, let alone stop!

Let’s talk about New York…
I’m flying out on Thanksgiving and arriving in the evening. Apparently the day after Thanksgiving is a mammoth shopping day. How splendid. I shall have my cards charged up and my signature signing speed at max so I’m able to blitz the shops before retiring in a huge heap of quality shopping bags stuffed choc full of fabulous things. All for me!
Actually, I do have to do a spot of Christmas present buying whilst I’m in the US but I know what I need and where to get it so it’ll take me no time at all!

Right. I’m away with my sniffles now to seek solace in a lemon drink. It’s all about glamour with me – it really is.

Chinese food

I haven’t eaten any Chinese food today – or for quite a while, for that matter. However, I shall be chowing down on lots of it next week as I’m off to Hong Kong on business.

I really like Hong Kong – it’s bustling & lively and has that buzz that only a few cities seem to possess. It’s visually stunning and each time I go, I stand and look at the skyline from the harbour-side just dumbstruck that this fantastic view is entirely manmade. That’s what hits me every time as being so unusual. Not many manmade sites on such a grand scale can be considered beautiful or spectacular. Hong Kong manages to get away with it. Don’t ask me how, as it’s all glass, noise, light – I don’t even want to think what kind of electricity gets used up or how much pollution is being belched into the environment as a result..

Back to Chinese food briefly. I’m looking forward to lots of duck – I think that’s my fave, that and dim sum.

After my whistle-stop visit to Hong Kong for 2 nights, it’s back on the plane for 12 hours to London. Hopefully there’ll be some good films on the plane so I can fill up all that time.
My travels don’t end there, as the next week I’m boarding a long-haul flight again to visit New York – for fun. I hate to imagine what my carbon footprint is like…
I do work for an airline tho so travel is kind of unavoidable. Perhaps I can pay for some trees to be planted to offset my carbon footprint. I’m a bit worried that I’ve travelled so much on business this year and had some long haul holidays, that I don’t actually have a carbon footprint but a carbon off-road 4x4 dirt trail.

Sigh. I love trees – I need to look into tree projects to pay for my travel crimes….

M&S Mini Jaffa Cakes

I’ve just had a whole bag of them. I shared with my colleagues of course, but the majority ended up being shovelled into the huge pie-hole located at the front of my head.

Yum.

Well, it’s nearly the weekend. We have a friend coming to stay, which means I’ll spend most of it out and about, probably in a semi-drunken state and seeking something more to eat.

Not entirely sure about the specific plans as yet but I know that this evening is going to be a ‘civilised’ dinner somewhere pleasant. Now, we all know that this means we’ll have an enjoyable, civilised dinner somewhere, drink a cellar’s worth of wine and decide to lurch off to a West-End club to drink far too much before tumbling into a cab at the crack of sparrows, then crawl into bed well after day-break. This whole kind of evening is what’s planned for tomorrow tho, so we’ll be dreadfully over-hung but will force ourselves out into town to do it all over again. Typically, Sunday will be spent promising anyone who will listen that we won’t be drinking again and that our healthy lifestyles are due to start first thing Monday morning. Which of course, they won’t.

I can’t wait! I do love a major weekender!

I also need to fit a spot of retail therapy in too. I need a winter coat and some new things to wear. Well, I say need. That’s not strictly true. I’d like.

The weather has suddenly, and sharply, turned chilly. Frost everywhere this morning and visible breath. I wasn’t expecting it. By the time I got to the tube station today my ears hurt. Anyone in Canada, Scandinavia or Siberia who may be reading this could probably sneer with good reason at such blousey reactions but hey! I’m British. It’s what we do. We discuss weather. Constantly.

Next entry it’s really all back to cake. Or at least I’ll try! Honest.

Food Bravery

Today I’ve been quite brave. I’ll explain in a little while and anyone who reads it might think “so what?”
My adventure in food, admittedly, has been low level but I have learned something. Which is always good.

I’m not really a cheese fan.
Wow! Another savoury food blog, but fear not cake fans, after this I’m definitely returning to sugar-laden stuff. It’ll make me happy and keep my dentist busy.

I digress (what’s new).

I’m not really a cheese fan. I only really like ‘plastic’, processed cheese that comes in flat squares or foil wrapped triangles. “Philistine” yell the food connoisseurs of the world. Blah blah blah say I. Anyway. As previously mentioned, I’m having a bit of a soup-fest at the mo so I wandered down to the little food place in my building to buy some lunch. The soup of the day is broccoli and stilton. Cheese-feelings taken into account I grimaced then, on the verge of declining, I was struck with a devil-may-care attitude and promptly ordered a small serving – don’t want to get too giddy.

I’ve finished the soup now. I’m feeling a bit cheated. At first it was ok but then the serious chessiness began to kick in. It’s the whole blue cheese thing for me. It’s mould! Why would anyone want to eat mould? Then again, mushrooms are fungi and they’re great. I’m sitting now with a mouldy taste in my mouth and a feeling of missed lunchtime opportunities. That’s the last time I throw caution to the wind and delve into the world of cheese.

I need a huge slab of chocolate now to lift my mood and rejuvenate my taste buds. I’m taking a sprightly short walk to the snacks machine immediately.

Let's talk about crisps…

Although I never used to hate them, crisps were never high on my food agenda. At parties, gatherings or when particularly peckish I’d nibble on the odd few. I’d also usually head for salt & vinegar.

These last few weeks I’ve found myself drawn to crisps in a big way. Why? Why, oh why?

Walkers Roasted Red Onion & Balsamic Vinegar flavour are specific winners at the mo, as are Pringles Thai Lemon Grass flavour. I don’t understand how it’s happened but I’ve found myself cramming fists full of them into my mouth to the point of near suffocation. Despite the danger of choke hazard or the risks of laceration to the inner lining of my mouth from pointy crisp edge, I’ve been throwing caution to the wind and devouring them like a total crazy!

Is there any cure I ask myself. Is there a self-help group? A Potato Products Anonymous?

Not sure what has set these new savoury wheels in motion but it’s certainly got me thinking. Crisp cake…..
No. That’s just plain silly.

For those who may have dropped in from outside the UK – and there used to be but I think they had their fill of cake and have moved on to slimmer pastures – crisps are potato chips. Chips are entirely different here – chips in the UK are what folk in the US call fries – only they’re fatter (the chips, not the Americans, let’s not get in to THAT debate! Although I think there’s little difference between the UK and US on that score these days…)

Now that it’s becoming chilly and autumnal, I’m also becoming a bit obsessed with soup. I wonder… is this all because I’m getting older? I can’t possibly abandon my loyalty to cake/biscuits/sweet baked goods, it’d be too much of a wrench…

Please help

Shocking, lazy, uncaring….

I know – it’s true. My blog has been left cold and unloved for a while. It’s not as if I haven’t had anything to write about. I don’t have an excuse. I guess even nice blogs have bad authors…

I’ll try and make amends.

I’ll begin with macaroons. I may have mentioned them before but last weekend I went to Paris – for dinner more or less – oh the glamour! It’s like being part of a Pretty Woman movie spoof. Except that I’m not pretty, or a woman. Nor am I a hooker with a heart. I just went to Paris for dinner.
Dinner was fab – Hotel Costes is the epitome of cool. Our waitress looked like she’d just nipped off the catwalk at the end of Paris fashion week and back to her day job. The woman walked like she was on castors! It was too chic for words.
Anyway, back to macaroons. On Sunday we went to Laduree on the Champs Elysees for breakfast. They make the most unbelievable macaroons. I can’t even think of a way to describe them – the only thing to do is to experience one. It’s almost magical in a food kind of way.

Eurostar was fun but looking a little tired these days and you don’t get the fun stuff anymore. The glasses are all nasty plastic tubs that look like the containers you get filled with pills/medicine when you’re in hospital.

The week before Paris I did some sightseeing in London. Strange as I actually live in London but my brother and sister in-law came to stay and we did some tourist stuff. It was brilliant. Some things I hadn’t done in ages and others never before. For the first time ever, I climbed to the top of the dome of St Paul’s Cathedral (for those of you who may not be in the know, it’s the 2nd largest cathedral in the world after St Peters in Rome). The view was stunning. As good as the view from the London Eye but a darn sight cheaper and the surrounding architecture (the cathedral with it’s dome designed by Christopher Wren) more beautiful. The steps were narrow and winding and could cause sweaty palms even to the hardiest of tourists. I urge everyone to visit.

This week has been busy at work – lots to get done and not much time to do it in. I’ve given up on any sense of urgency and I’m allowing myself to be swept along in everyone else’s waves of panicky delirium. It’s easier to let someone else do the worrying I’ve decided. It then leaves me plenty of time to look forward to the weekends and to decide what I should have for dinner each evening!

Biscuits!

I’m really in the mood for biscuits today. Not really fussed what kind, just want to cram my mouth with packets and packets of them. If pushed into making a biscuit selection I think, right now, I’d choose Jammie Dodgers or Orange flavoured Clubs. Mind you, a Jaffa Cake always goes well and should never be sniffed at, unless you’re going to scoff it down after a tempter sniff.

I think it’s to do with the change in the weather. It’s a bit cooler today and drizzly. The kind of weather that should be endured by beaching oneself on a large sofa accompanied by a vast amount of cushions, many cups of tea and a mountain of biscuits within easy arms reach. The other arm would, of course, be gripping on to the remote control to orchestrate a day’s DVD viewing pleasure. I reckon to go with my current biscuit mood I’d watch perhaps the first 3 Star Wars movies (as in the first 3 that were made), maybe one or two of the Lord of the Rings films (absolute nerd fest but easy viewing). Alternatively, I could just be in the frame of mind to watch a few of my all-time faves in one blast – Thomas Crown Affair (the Pierce Brosnan one), Oceans Eleven (George Clooney one), Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert (the ‘one and only’ one) and I think perhaps something slightly cultural should be thrown in as I’m feeling that the above selections lead to a trash extravaganza. Something cultural tho…

I’ll have to give that some thought. I do like cultural stuff but I’m pressed now to think of one on the hoof.

Oh to be close to comfy upholstery, hi-tech audio visual equipment and a kettle.

Detox…

Sigh.

Yes. It does say detox. After 16 days of boozing it up and eating like it was my last ever day, my body has finally begged me to please let it have at least a day off and maybe just one full glass of water.

Spain, Spain, Spain. I love it. Ibiza was a blast. Whilst I didn’t go quite so far as to be in some uber-now club with a clingy vest on and a whistle every night, I did stay out late drinking in cool bars and eating my own body weight in …, well, whatever came closest to either of my hands really. Ibiza was also very relaxing as our villa had a HUGE terrace with pool, plus the most spectacular views of the sea and the sunset. Days were generally lazy and involved bobbing about on a lilo whilst soaking up as much sunlight as is humanly possible. After an afternoon sharpener from the drinks trolley a little disco nap often followed before evening activities commenced.

After a week of glorious sunshine and fun in Ibiza we flew to mainland Spain for a week of more glorious sunshine and fun.

Tapas with extra sides of tapas, day after day, all washed down with about 200 gallons of Cruzcampo beer (unless in Granada where it’s all Alhambra beer!) have left me with the constant sound of straining stitches and the panic that unexpected and embarrassing seam-splitting could occur at any given moment.

I think my new fave tapas are croquettas caseras, broad bean & bacon stew and squid. The other half and a friend were obsessed with anchovies for the whole time, which kinda made me heave a bit. The small, fresh ones that have been prepared in vinegar are ok but the bigger ones that are deep fried whole gave me the heebie-jeebies – especially when the other half pulled out a whole spine and bones combo and ate it separately to demonstrate how soft the bones were. I nearly revisited a whole plate of super tasty croquettes over that…

Other scary offerings worthy of note were the pigs’ trotters that the other half ordered whilst at a fiesta in Ronda (where everyone should visit as it’s beautiful!). We all looked at them as they glistened wetly on the plate. I instantly decided that they would never be on my ‘must try’ list (not that they ever were) and plunged gladly into the huge plate of ‘Jamon y Queso’ that was at the other end of our table. The other half, having ordered the feet struggled bravely on, much to the horror of the rest of us. I’ve got a pic of them somewhere so I’ll attach once I find it. It ain’t pretty so I may have to pop another pic along with it too, to take away the nasty taste.

I’ve decided that I’d like to live in Seville for a little while. The city is so warm and exciting. It has character, charm, and history and did I mention they practically invented tapas there? Even working in a smoky little bar there would make me very happy. I’d be able to learn Spanish and drink little beers all day long. Actually, that would lead to an enormous belly, which wouldn’t do, as Sevillanos mostly seem svelte with fabulous skin and attractive features.

Heavens. I should have been Spanish. It would have made everything so much easier…

Turkish Delight

Ever get a craving for something you haven’t had in ages, completely out of nowhere?

I’m in desperate need of a Fry’s Turkish Delight right now. Dunno why but I just really, really want one. Or two. I must confess that I’m a bit of a Turkish Delight fan. Obviously my favourite is the fake, unauthentic kind covered in chocolate but I do also like the official Turkish stuff too – especially the pistachio flavoured ones.

More food adventures coming up for me! I’m off to Ibiza on holiday at the weekend, which will mean a huge booze-bonanza but also the beginning of a Spanish food frenzy which will last two weeks. I’m very much looking forward to chorizo and albondingas. A special favourite is dates wrapped in bacon – something that I can make myself at home but never seems to taste anywhere near as amazing as it does when you’re plonked port-side in some glam and sunny holiday destination with a glass of chilly rose near at hand.

Now there’s a thought…. Does food automatically taste better if you are in pleasant surroundings? Would I find dates in bacon as tastey if I were sat on a plastic chair at the side of the M25? Obviously I’d be choking on the fumes and picking grit thrown by speeding lorries from every mouthful. It would therefore seem that location could be a factor in how good food tastes. These findings are not conclusive but I shall keep everyone informed of any further discoveries in this area.

After Ibiza we’re jetting straight to Malaga to begin our Andalucian Extravaganza. Yet more tapas!!!!! I may even get into sherry. Or maybe not. It’s a bit old lady. Although I’m sure Andalucians would argue it’s super-trendy and extremely cutting edge….

Warm Plum Tart

Warm plums….. hmmmm…

I’m a fan of a sticky tart too. In fact any bit of pastry is usually welcome.

Now then. Enough of all that. I have details of an event, the likes of which has ne’ery been seen before (well maybe, but it was pretty spectacular). Last weekend I attended the matrimonials of Todd & Fergal at Bovey Castle in Devon. What a shindig!

The whole thing was planned with immaculate precision, gliding along at a fair ol’ pace with bags of style, tons of fun and bucket loads of booze.
Being the paragon of virtue that I am, I only allowed a whisper of alcohol to touch my lips. Actually, none of it touched my lips - it bypassed all of my mouth and hit my throat at a gallop. Or it went down my front. As someone who is totally unable to say no to ‘another’, I should have suffered rather badly with dreadful hangovers but after the initial night’s revels I arose without a headache or nausea. I also arose without a toenail, my camera or my shirt. The camera I had left in the hotel bar, the shirt at the pool after an early morning dip with other drunken merry-makers and my toenail was embedded in the bottom of the bathroom door where I had, under the influence of course, trapped it.

Pain began soon after waking and shame shortly followed. Fortunately being in the pool in such a state meant that I had consumed rather more water than usual which held off any ill feeling. However, the fact that I made my way back to my room at 5am in wet boxer shorts brought on whole different feelings of agony… Fortunately the other half had organised the room for my arrival by removing any furniture from my route between bed and bathroom.

Further agony followed when later that day I had to don my lovely new Patrick Cox shoes for the wedding ceremony. I went thru the whole thing with a dignified limp, able to meet the eyes of only my five fellow fun seekers. A few glasses of champagne later and my limp was improving marvellously and the party spirit and returned. I even managed a dance or two.

Notable food over the weekend was a fantastic barbeque with amazing burgers and sausages. An amazing mountain of cupcakes (wish I’d taken a photo but my camera was strangely missing…) drew my attention shortly after demolishing a pile of yummy salads and grilled meat!
The wedding feast was sooooo good too. Fabulous wine accompanied the food, all selected by Todd & Fergal. Wow! You boys have such great taste.

I haven’t been to a wedding like that before and certainly not one that I’ve enjoyed so much.

Cinnamon Spiced Carrot Cake

I love cinnamon, as has already been discussed on a few previous blog entries. I’m not going to bang on a about it any more. Carrot cake tho... I quite like carrot cake but my favourite part is the squishy bit on the top. Once I've polished that off I soon lose interest.

I’m off to a wedding on Friday, which should present a whole cornucopia of food opportunities over the weekend. The wedding is taking place in a castle in Devon so I’ll snap a few shots and try and get them on for a future blog.

We’re going by train – a relief as driving would have been mayhem. An 11 o’clock start and we’re taking the whole thing very seriously with a plan and everything. One of my chums is charged with getting the bread, cheese, pate and other smashingly delicious comestibles whilst the rest of us are bringing the wine. By the time we roll of the train in deepest, darkest Devon we’ll be trashed! Hurrah!

Once arrived, we’ll check in to the castle (as one does) and then (hopefully) nip off for a refreshing snooze. After a nap we shall glam up for an evening’s entertainment of monster proportions before retiring (elegantly, of course) to our rooms to enjoy a night’s slumber before the big wedding day of Todd & Fergal.
Much excitement about what is planned but they’re keeping it all very close to their chests. Time will tell….

I’m a bit peckish. I might have a pasty….

Friday Night

Aah. I used to love going out straight from work on a Friday night and then discovering that it was Saturday afternoon all of a sudden. Associated side effects were usually some form of headache, vague memories of thinking how splendidly witty I thought I was at the time (usually bringing on waves of dire anxiety and embarrassment), the elusive feeling that I'd found someone frightfully attractive but not feeling entirely sure if I'd acted upon those urges (quick check under bedclothes to ascertain success or lack thereof) - all rolled up with a devilish hankering for bacon.

Nowadays, I still like to pop out for a frisky shandy or two but prefer to be home and in my jarmies by midnight. Of course, having the other half for the past 9 years has meant that the Saturday morning score chart has been neatly filed away for posterity but the rest has just faded away with age.

It's Friday night now and I've had some wine (a fair bit actually, but sipped slowly over a whole evening rather than binged in a couple of hours followed by spirits - both high and alcoholic - and some impressive cocktails which make better hats than drinks!). I'm feeling mellow and content.

Saturday nights however, still don't seem to have changed. I still love to go out on the lash! Tomorrow night we're off to a stag do. Entertainingly, there are two stags as there is to be a 'big gay wedding' next week. It's all very Madonna really - big castle, stacks of people - and I'm quite looking forward to it.
Back to the stag party tho - not sure how that's gonna pan out. Stag/hen parties usually, in the UK at least, involve going out with your mates for a final fling as a single, possibly also involve snogging as many people as you can and generally getting off your face without your intended being there to look on disapprovingly. Gay stag parties are only in their infancy, so this is all going to be a bit of an adventure.

I shall, of course, behave as a paragon of decorum, sampling only a small variety of alcoholic tipples, until I feel that it is time to withdraw politely to return home before the witching hour. Bollocks! I'll be trashed by 11pm, won't remember swinging my pants outrageously on the dancefloor of some club choc full with chunky chaps without shirts, before being thrown into the back of a taxi to arrive in a heap at my doorstep by the crack of noon the next day.

Dontcha just love the weekend?!

(pic is of me at my most virtuous....)

Super Hungry

Yowsers! I’m sooo hungry today. I’ve just spent a week working in Hong Kong and we were thoroughly spoiled by the staff at the hotel where we worked. Every day was a huge merry-go-round of cake, dim sum, pastries, sandwiches - with extra cake. All of these exciting treats were punctuated only by breakfast, lunch breaks, and snack times.

My system has now reconfigured itself to expect at least a biscuit every fifteen minutes. Now that I’m back in the UK, and in normal work mode, there’s been ne’ery a piece of fruit near my desk, let alone a strawberry shortcake. I’m in disarray. I’m craving a sugar fix of monster proportions and the sensible part of my brain is quietly informing me that if I continue at my current consumption I shall have a stomach like a barrel in a few short weeks. Conversely, the irrational foodie part of me is screaming inside my head that I need baked goods immediately, or my sanity could well be at stake and I could slip into a hunger-induced state of melancholic apathy.

Panic over! Just had lunch at Pizza Express. I was kinda good by having a salad but the salads at Pizza Express have just as much fat in them as a pizza. Still, I feel slightly virtuous by having eaten some lettuce and tuna, which is obviously health food…. Isn’t it?

Lemon Meringue Pie

Do I like it is the question….

Yes is the answer, providing the meringue is fluffy and chewy. If it’s that hard, brittle polystyrene look-alike, then I certainly do not!!

I’ve just had a cheeky lunch surprise, which has made me totally perky and full of Thursday cheer. I had a cheese and mushroom panini. It was delicious. It must have been the cheese – type unknown sadly but I’m still basking in the rosy glow of a yummy lunch. Does anyone else get that? When you don’t want the taste of that last mouthful to fade? I was gasping for a drink of water but wanted the taste to last. Of course I had to give in as was beginning to look like I’d just crossed the Kalahari…

Isn’t the weather just fab in the UK right now?! I spent last weekend in Brighton and had breakfast on the beach. Granted, shingle and pebbles don’t make the most attractive beaches but the sea was a beautiful green colour, the sun was shining and there was a cool & steady breeze to take the edge off the heat. I made the dubious decision to eat a chocolate-almond croissant but it went without a hitch, there wasn’t really enough time for the chocolate to have melted as I shoved it in pretty much all in one go, as I was so hungry. Not sure why I had such mammoth hunger on though as we’d been out for dinner to an amazing restaurant the night before and ate fairly late. Anyone dropping by here that may live in Brighton or is thinking of visiting soon should go to Pinxto People. It’s kinda like a tapas restaurant but it’s a combination of Spanish and Asian food. All sounds a bit bizarre but it works really well. We had all sorts of unbelievably great food and the cocktails were lethally fabulous. What made the evening, and the restaurant a real winner was the amazing staff who work there. They were all so proud of the place and of the service they provide. It helped that the majority of them were stunning to look at but they were so genuinely lovely it made our whole experience twenty times better. We’re going back again this weekend and taking some different friends, hopefully they’ll love it as much as we do.

Now that the taste of my panini has faded and I’ve quenched my thirst I’m feeling really full. Ooh. A nice lie down would be ideal. Alas, I still have half of my working day to lurch through.

sigh….

Banana and Vanilla Sponge with Toffee Sauce

Summer is here. Kinda. It’s been hot, then cold. Then hot. Then cold. I can’t keep up! My bag is so heavy every day that getting to work is exhausting. The weather is so jumper on, jumper off, sunglasses on, sunglasses off that I’m having to cart all-weather gear with me everywhere I go. I’m thinking of just buying a caravan or Winnebago to drive to and from work so I’ll have the appropriate stuff with me at all times.

All this plus banana & vanilla sponge with toffee sauce. What a rubbish cake!

I was in Mallorca a couple of weeks ago. It was splendid. I’ve decided I’m very much in love with Mallorca. Beautiful weather, scenery and the odd spot of tapas whenever I feel like it are most welcome additions to a lifestyle, dontcha think?
Note to self. Move to Mallorca asap!

I’ve got a busy couple of months coming up and it’s all feeling a bit daunting at the mo. Like a big wall in front of me that I’m going to have to climb. Fortunately, there will be a few nice little ledges on my ascent where I can stop and take a quick breather. Busy at work and 2 visits to Hong Kong to put in before September. Obviously, I shall be comforted by the mountains of Chinese food I can eat there, plus the card-groaningly vast amounts of shopping I can do.
I have a gay wedding to go to in August. But before the wedding is the entertaining event of the stag night. 2 grooms, 2 stags and 2 separate events for us all to attend in one evening. I’ll make sure I’m wearing comfy shoes and have a speedy route between the 2 planned well in advance!

Pleasingly, after the busy events of the next 2 months I’ll be whisking off to Ibiza for some serious pleasure seeking. There will be a great deal of sun-soaked loafing involved, liberally sprinkled with booze. Immediately after Ibiza is a week of cool sightseeing in Andalusia. I’m really looking forward to it, as one of our major stops along the way will be Seville. I’ve blathered on about Seville here in my blog before so I’m not going to go on. Apart from the fact that it’s warm, beautiful, all of the people there are real pretty and it’s FUN!

Summery Bread and Butter Pudding

Well well well…

Again it’s been a while…bit of a pattern forming here isn’t there?

I’ve just returned from Tokyo where I’ve spent a week on business. I’m not even going to consider talking about today’s dessert as there’s just too much to flap on about Japanese food. I LOVE it.

I’ve spent a week demolishing tons of beef sukiyaki, Japanese beef curry, sushi, teriyaki, and katso curry, not to mention the desserts! Japan is a rather cheeky surprise on the cake front. It’s all v fluffy and light and super-duper pretty. I’ve also become a bit obsessed with Japanese pickled radish – odd huh? If anyone reading this ever gets the chance to try it then I suggest you wolf it down!

The bonus of Japanese food is that it’s all fairly healthy! How cool is that?!

I’m off to Mallorca tomorrow for a long weekend so I’ll be throwing myself heartily into tapas and much sangria. Heck, I need to be planning a diet soon or I’m gonna turn into a big slab of Serrano!!!

Chocolate & Black Cherry Sponge

Hmmmm…..

I like chocolate and I LOVE cherries but I’m not sure how I feel about the dessert du jour.

I’m going to hold off discussing it whilst I ponder….

Since my last entry (some time ago I know – big sorry!) I have had a splendid holiday in Boston and Cape Cod. We visited Boston over a national holiday – Memorial Day. Boston was more or less closed. The ‘other half’ and I explored the city on foot. The weather was amazing, which was a good job, as we couldn’t go into many places, being that they weren’t open. When it came to lunchtime I was sooo hungry and my feet were aching but we couldn’t find anywhere open to eat! But then we spied a diner that was open and we rejoiced. However as we limped towards the door, weak with hunger, we noticed the enormous queue spilling out on to the pavement. I stifled a small sob. Due to the heat and unbearable cravings for food, the ‘other half’ and I then proceeded to have a completely irrational argument and opted to buy a sandwich from a little store and sit on Boston Common with it.

Harrumph! Boston is pretty though and I feel that I’ll need to return to give it a fair chance. And to have a look at the insides of things too!

Cape Cod is incredibly beautiful, so friendly and completely geared up to allowing one to eat lobster 24 hours a day! Spectacular! I particularly enjoyed my lobster sandwich one afternoon whilst lazily slumped over a view of a beach. I’d recommend Cape Cod and I hope that I can visit again soon.

Now then. I’ve made up my mind on the Choc & Black Cherry Sponge. It gets a big fat zero.