I feel I really need a cart-load of energy drinks right now. After 2 gruelling weekends of artery-narrowing food and a kidney-punishing amount of alcohol, I think I’m ready for a quick visit to The Priory (UK version of Betty Ford clinic).
Last week was a major booze fest that I don’t think I fully recovered from until Wednesday, all made worse by having a super sore throat. This weekend was another stonking booze-fest which ended yesterday in an 8.45am cab dash through the streets of London, to get the other half and I as close to home as possible before the city roads shut down for the London Marathon. We had to walk the last part as we’d left it just a little too late to end our shenanigans before attempting to head home. Our ‘dirty whore walk of shame’ in last night’s clothes, reeking of drink and fags took us through preparations for street-side marathon parties and cheery faced early gatherers, getting ready to wave their loved ones on. My unshaven, blood-shot eyed look sadly wasn’t convincing enough as one of the many fancy dress runners. One of our friends, who we’d left at 8.45am, sent a text message to say that his partner looked like a ‘drag fish-wife’. You can only imagine my appearance as I fell through our front door, crawled up the stairs and flopped onto the bed like a rancid old tramp.
Yesterday was spent loafing about in post-booze haze. I think I drank about 8 litres of water standing at the kitchen sink as soon as I got up. I really wanted to just get a garden hose and place it down my throat for an hour. My tongue felt like the inside of a vacuum cleaner bag (probably looked like one too, but I couldn’t risk facing it in the mirror).
I’m off to see the stage version of The Sound of Music this week so I need to dig out my wimple and starting dusting off a few of my favourite things.
If anyone in the UK has the chance to see ‘Boeing Boeing’ at the Comedy Theatre just off Haymarket, snap up a ticket – it’s hilarious!
Ok. I feel the water cravings returning. I need to go and suck dry a water barrel or three.
Last week was a major booze fest that I don’t think I fully recovered from until Wednesday, all made worse by having a super sore throat. This weekend was another stonking booze-fest which ended yesterday in an 8.45am cab dash through the streets of London, to get the other half and I as close to home as possible before the city roads shut down for the London Marathon. We had to walk the last part as we’d left it just a little too late to end our shenanigans before attempting to head home. Our ‘dirty whore walk of shame’ in last night’s clothes, reeking of drink and fags took us through preparations for street-side marathon parties and cheery faced early gatherers, getting ready to wave their loved ones on. My unshaven, blood-shot eyed look sadly wasn’t convincing enough as one of the many fancy dress runners. One of our friends, who we’d left at 8.45am, sent a text message to say that his partner looked like a ‘drag fish-wife’. You can only imagine my appearance as I fell through our front door, crawled up the stairs and flopped onto the bed like a rancid old tramp.
Yesterday was spent loafing about in post-booze haze. I think I drank about 8 litres of water standing at the kitchen sink as soon as I got up. I really wanted to just get a garden hose and place it down my throat for an hour. My tongue felt like the inside of a vacuum cleaner bag (probably looked like one too, but I couldn’t risk facing it in the mirror).
I’m off to see the stage version of The Sound of Music this week so I need to dig out my wimple and starting dusting off a few of my favourite things.
If anyone in the UK has the chance to see ‘Boeing Boeing’ at the Comedy Theatre just off Haymarket, snap up a ticket – it’s hilarious!
Ok. I feel the water cravings returning. I need to go and suck dry a water barrel or three.
6 comments:
Ha ha! Glad to see that I'm not the only lush in this world! Only difference is that I usually end up in some strange bed, and drinking water in some strange kitchen...at least you get to be in your own bed and kitchen! ;-) Glad you've finally blogged again Mr! x
DG - Am disappointed! You should have had a Full English.
Sounds like a great week to me! Looking forward to the day you decide to visit us and we can test your booze fest stamina. I'm sure Monty will join me in showing you the locals. :)
Monty - there were days when it was someone else's kitchen, someone else's sink but they're long gone now - other half and I celebrate 10 years together this year. We share the sink!
Cutectguy - tho I'd have loved a full English I didn't have the energy to switch the kettle on and we were trapped in the house by the marathon, as it passes by our house and all local roads were closed. Bacon would have been truly heavenly tho.
Muzbot - We were actually out drinking with 2 Sydney boys and an American. You Australians are such a bad influence. I look forward to returning to Sydney - you can then understand the might of my drinking prowess (or lack thereof!) ;¬)
Ooooh, the challenge has been thrown down! DG, get your arse down under and it will be vodka shots at 30 paces - you, Muz and I! he he he!
Darth, you great hunk of hairy man, am I to understand from your remarks on GIL's blog that you work for THAT airline??? hmmm, if I get me a flight to London with them, what's the chance you can pull some strings and get me upgraded??? he he he! And yes, please do get that magnificent chest of yours out there more...particularly in pics on your blog!!! *big wink*
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