Feeling Fridayish

OK. Here we go with some more suggestions from you, my dear, valued reader(s).

Matterdays threw into the hat the feeling of “inadequacy”. Hmmm. Cheers for that.
Hopefully, Matterdays won’t be feeling the same way any more and his recent days have been filled with stellar, unparalleled success.

Right then. Inadequacy. Er.

It’s always nice to start with a little definition, so from YourDictionary.com…

inadequacy Definition

in·ad·equa·cy

noun pl. -·cies
quality, state, or instance of being inadequate

inadequacy Synonyms

inadequacy
n.
1. Inferiority
ineptitude, incompetence, insufficiency; see inability, lack 1.
2. A defect
flaw, drawback, shortcoming, deficiency; see defect 2, lack 2.

Gosh. Not sure I could live up to a post that would explain all of that…

Personally, I don’t think I feel inadequate that often. I’m usually pretty confident about most stuff and if I’m not confident I’ll bluff it or fly by the seat of my pants – actually, I’ve flown by the seat of my pants so often that I should have frequent flier miles.

One thing that I do think I suffer from though, in a very low wattage sense, is Impostor Syndrome. All of the roles I’ve had in my working career have been unplanned and I’ve simply been in the right place at the right time, and I’ve just kind of… well, fallen into them, really. I reckon I’m probably fairly good at what I do but when I think of where to go from here, I feel a bit trapped. I didn’t plan any of this at all. If I’d have stuck to my plan 21 years ago I’d have gone to art college and would either be enjoying a glorious life of celebrity weirdness or eeking out a living of deprived poverty and starvation instead.

How did this all happen? Pfft! Haven't a clue. I put it all down to chance (and a bit of luck that I found something that I can kinda do - who knew!) However, I do feel like a bit of a phoney when people seek my advice. It also freaks me out when people actually take my advice and act upon it.

Despite 5 years at university and quite a few years of experience, I still don’t understand why anyone would listen to what I have to say at work, let alone believe me.

I think it’s holding me back. I need to recalibrate somehow. I also need to decide what I want and aim for it rather than sitting here in dazed confusion. Stupidly, my job is to recruit and help others decide what they want – yet I can’t seem to apply my own know-how to myself.

Apparently, Impostor Syndrome is more common in successful women. Heck! Does this mean that I’m a bit of a girl? Don’t answer that.

But then... even if I were a bit of a girl, I wouldn't think of myself as successful anyway...

Waaah! Headache!