Peanut Butter & Jam Sandwich

Hmmm... Just had one. A peanut butter & jam sandwich, that is. The shops here have all sorts of weird and wonderful things in them from all corners of the globe (apart from nice tea - Liptons is about it... bleeearrgghh...) and whilst meandering the aisles seeking inspiration my gaze settled on a jar of... peanut butter AND jam. In one jar. Who knew!? I was intrigued. I bought a jar. I took to it with a spoon in the kitchen on arrival back at the apartment, frozen food left defrosting and puddling all over the tiles. I was concerned that the jam would be in lumps or blobs at random locations throughout the jar. Not so. There was an even swirl of jam - all the way to the bottom of the jar. I know this because I dug quite a way down. All in the sake of culinary discovery, you understand. Now then. The jar has lasted for about 3 weeks. The past weekend I popped to the local shop (read, Aladdin's cave of assorted spices, dusty boxes of cereal, bizarre brands of aftershave, razors and hilariously branded Indian and Arabic condoms) for some bread. All that was left was milk loaf. I hadn't had milk loaf for years. For those not in the know, milk loaf is very white, uber soft, squashy bread with hardly any crusts. Kids always love it. I threw some peanut butter & jam on it. I nearly exploded with pleasure. The jar is empty, the bread is gone (quite possibly soon followed by my teeth)

sigh....

Other news in brief

• I have a cold. Typical. I come all the way to the desert and get a cold. It's 30 bloody degrees outside


• Work is pants, causing me to feel like I'm on some kind of sickening rollercoaster. One minute everything's on the up and I feel like laughing my tits off, the next minute it's vile, and I feel like flinging myself from a moving carriage rather than carry on with the journey


• It turned out sunny here again


• I'm off on holiday next week! I'm going to Kerala in India for some R & R. A bit of a hippy trip will hopefully brighten me up and have me feeling sprightly


• It's nearly Christmas and I haven't seen a single bauble yet. It's not really an official holiday here (I'm working Christmas Day) and there is no jolly festive music jingling anywhere. I'm missing yuletide spirit. Harrumph!


• I have discovered a new love for potato smiley faces. Is that wrong?

Fruit Salad

… it’s what I’ve just had for lunch. My experiments in self-restraint and portion control have been aided today by my fruit salad containing about half a kilo of papaya. Cue retching noises and curled lip expression. I don’t get it, why would anyone like papaya? Then again, I feel pretty much the same about mango. I now have a tin hat on to take the flak from aghast and outraged Australians. Anyone would they they invented the bloody things the way they clank on about them… Hello Australia. You know I think you're lovely.

I’m struggling with the healthy eating thing here but I’m not giving up. Yesterday I signed up to a health club at one of the fancy local hotels, so that I can use the gym. Of course I made full use of my membership immediately by flinging myself on to a sunbed and launching into my book for an afternoon’s seaside reading with my toes dug into the sand. Turned out that the desert had separate ideas and decided to whip up a sandstorm. I was ok on the beach but a little inland, everything was being bullied by super strong, unpleasantly gritty winds. My car was covered in sand and I was filled with gloom at the prospect of having to stop off and have it tickled with dusters for a small eternity before having it washed – prevents the paintwork from being scratched y’see.

Nature had other plans about my car’s well-being, in a good way. I woke up this morning and it was still dark. “strange” thinks I, whilst nibbling at some low fat porridge oats. I looked out of the window (only wearing pants – it was still dark, I felt like dallying with danger) to ponder when the sun would rise and discovered that a heavy bank of cloud had descended over the city. Weird! When I left the building to go to my car a fine mist was drifting about. Weirder! By the time I got to my car, big fat, extremely wet drops of rain were splashing all over the place and I was soaked.

The concept of drainage here is one that hasn’t ever really occurred to anyone so the rain water that was pelting down for an hour lay in enormous lakes all over the roads and made driving treacherous. Drivers here don’t have the first idea of road safety anyway so no-one slowed down to less then 140kph, hence the 4 serious accidents I saw on my journey. It made me feel extremely edgy, attempting to drive safely whilst everyone else threw caution to the wind (and rain) and ended up in ditches, through concrete barriers or rolled onto their sides in smoking, twisted metal disasters – all of which I saw today.

On the up side. On arrival at work, my car was absolutely sparkling!

Irritatingly, my shiny wet car was then exposed to sandy gusts of wind, and by home time had turned from glossy black to dusty beige. Pah!

BUT. My journey home was lifted by “Beat Surrender” by The Jam on the radio and an absolutely corking sunset. I felt positively smiley.

small snack

A haiku

Rose gold winter sky.

Desert sunset lifts my heart

and lights a new smile.

Dietary Requirements

Right. It's been a while (again) and I promised in my last post that I'd try and highlight some of the positives of living in UAE.

First though, I'll give an update for anyone who's still out there and reading, after the months of misery and moan I've been slamming up here.

1. The weather has turned out nice again.


2. Looks like the weather will be turning out nice for the foreseeable future. Well, at least until April time, when it will start to get really hot again but I'll be ready for it then.


3. Work has taken a surprisingly quirky turn and, for the moment anyway, is slightly enjoyable. I'm not sure how long that'll last but at least I don't feel like I'm fighting every day and failing at every attempt. Someone is finally listening.


4. I'm adapting. I'm getting used to not having all of my friends around and focusing on the friends I do have here and also on making new ones - and I'm pretty good at that so instead of bleating on about it I'm getting off my arse and actually trying to work something out.
   

Things have been happening behind the scenes of my UAE life which have made me really think about what I'm doing. It's been a long time since I've taken a lead from my parents and learned something really new about them but they have been able to surprise and inspire me again. I was at home in the UK for a very short weekend last week. The trip was unplanned but necessary and my mum & dad helped me see things in a totally new way. They don't even know they've done anything but the way they've handled a situation that's happening at home has made me proud and given me cause to realise that I can deal with anything that's happening here. I've managed worse and even enjoyed things after. This is no problem.

I feel better now I've given myself a stern talking to. Abu Dhabi needs to step back a bit or I'm going to trample it.

I'm also considering moving to Dubai. The drive to work would take less time - strange, considering I work in Abu Dhabi but city traffic is shocking. The accommodation is cheaper and Dubai has much more choice for a social life as it's a much bigger city with thriving nightlife. Abu Dhabi is only just beginning to establish that aspect of it's new plans for global domination.

The move to Dubai, if it happens, will take a wee while as TOH needs to get to grips with his new job and get himself established before we go charging about the country looking for a new home.

Ok, so what do I like about it here?

• Now, the weather.


• Chicken and chips kebabs - they are amazing.


• I can have everything I could possibly ever need delivered to my door - including chicken and chips kebabs.


• It's a very safe place to live. A friend left his wallet on a table in a restaurant and when he realised and returned, the wallet was still there. Untouched.


• I really like the sound of call to prayer.


• It's tax free!!!!


• The TV is rubbish - I'm forced to read more, eat out more and talk more.

The problems with the above are that most of them lead, in some way, to the accumulation of far too much extra padding. I've gained 6k in 2 months. Clothes are tightening and flesh is beginning to spill over the tighter areas of cloth. It's far too upsetting to contemplate. The gym on the top floor is being ignored - if I had to pass it in some way I'd probably get a pang of guilt at the very least but I never go up there now. I've made an appointment to join a health club next week in order to rid myself of the extra pounds, plus a few more. I may also have to limit my kebab intake. That's gonna sting but I've brought this upon myself.

So. That's me. I feel better (but quite a bit fatter). To help improve both of these states I'm now going to the beach to get a bit of a tan. If I'm going to be a bucket of lard, it'll look better golden rather than corpse white.